Who We Are and Why It Matters PDF Print E-mail
Written by Brad DeFlumeri   
Wednesday, 18 February 2009 03:08
(Note to reader: Unlike some on campus, and particularly our friends in the LBGTQWRSYZ community, we know our own identity -- and are not afraid to proclaim it.  So read on.)

This paper -- the Minuteman -- is not an agent, affiliate, proxy, subset, subgroup, or subchapter of the UMass Republican Club.  We are a wholesome, friendly, Limbaugh-tested and Hannity-approved publication of the hottest little number in town, the just-revived RSO known as the Silent Majority.  But, in case you haven't figured this out yet, silent we indeed will not be.  On the contrary, we will successfully strive to be and undoubtedly once again become the leftist-ball-busting, conservative-spouting, intellectually-dynamic, news-breaking, controversy-baking, voracious little vixen, that, upon seeing a leftist on campus or off doing something unethical or illegal, immediately goes about the task of telling you how, why, where, and when the Mao-worshiping jerk went askew.  But we will also cover with equal parts piss, passion and vigor everything that we can get our grubby little right-wing typewriters on.   And that means we will spare no one the ridicule-heavy and intellectually overwhelming might that so accurately describes a Minuteman all-out assault, even if the unlucky recipient of the attack happens to call the Republican Club home. And, accordingly, our trademark genuine conservative mentality may even compel us to target them. 

We are now, always have been, and forever will be the sole publication of the Silent Majority, the lesser known but proudly more vocally conservative RSO at UMass Amherst.  We've been absent for a while but now are back -- and ever-so-ready to combat the brainwash-happy totalitarians of political terror -- and political correctness -- otherwise known as UMass campus liberals. Such liberals can be found lurking sneakily around virtually all parts of campus -- from the hippie with no shoes "fixing" your bike in the Bicycle Coop to the "outraged" America-blaming man-hating feminist in your legal studies seminar.  You know her, miserable Marge, always so eager and ready to denounce men and tick off one by one all the ways in which men and their "patriarchal society" have kept her down.  To all those like-minded liberals, and their allies at the Collegian, we unapologetically say: kiss our Reagan-quoting, America-loving, patriotic-big-round-oppressive-conservative ass.

But what's more is that these liberal slimes are no match for the insidious breed of Marxists found in the Student Government Association.  Empowered by the [infinitesimally] small political "mandate" of their fellow students, the select few left-wingers who hold power over and control the purse strings of RSOs are the primary -- and unlucky -- target of this, and, rest assured, many future editions of the Minuteman. And systematically take these jokers on we will: In just this edition you will find us shedding new light and inserting a compelling new voice into the miserably one-sided coverage of the "Justice" for Jason fiasco.  Furthermore, you will witness us have a little (tasteful) fun with the public-domain Facebook profiles pictures of none other than J4J lead organizer -- and Minuteman favorite -- Dan "Prom Queen" Keefe.


But I digress, for the point of this piece is to celebrate who we are and the fact that we have so forcefully and energetically returned, while reminding you, our beloved and liberal-repelling reader, that, while the UMass Republican Club may possess similar ideological inclinations as us, we are not them and they, unfortunately for them, are not us.  And don't you forget it, either. 


Consequently, while we unfortunately, can't return to you the student fee money that the SGA arrogantly wasted on hate-crime crying, tolerance-mandating propaganda and nonsense, we can -- and indeed will -- be right there to hold them to account when they do so.  So, remember, we aren't the Republican Club and we sure as hell aren't the Collegian; are journalistic balls are bigger and our prospects to make campus liberals squirm and scream in frustration are a little brighter.  Therefore, for all of the foregoing, and all of the following, we humbly urge you to give us a look every now and then and see what we are up to.  And until you read our next monthly edition, sit confidently knowing that the lumber-swinging bigmouth of conservatism is back in action at UMass-Amherst, and, with the sail of so many time-tested and history-affirmed facts and arguments at our wings, our long-time hallmarks of passion, trenchant reporting, wit, humor, and a show-stopping sense of dramatic writing and flair for the theatrical, and, of course, your steady and devoted readership, we are convinced that we will do just fine, and be here to stay.  God help you, liberals, you have our sympathy, and if history is any indication, you will need it. 


Until next time,

Brad DeFlumeri, Managing Editor


Brad can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Comments
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unfortunate   |71.192.247.xxx |2009-02-19 20:48:22
If you are going to be ignorant and hateful, you might as well do so with
proper spelling and grammar. "So, remember, we aren't
the Republican Club and we sure as hell aren't the Collegian; are journalistic balls are bigger and our prospects to make campus liberals
squirm and scream in frustration are a little brighter."
Ted Maravelias   |69.95.155.xxx |2009-02-20 12:59:33
I am so happy that the Minuteman is back!! As a former contributor back in
90'-91', I can say that The Minuteman is one of the best campus newspapers in
the country. I LOVE the fact that you distinguish yourselves as separate from
the Republican Club. Even though I was Republican Club President at UMASS, there
seems to be these days a bunch of mealey mouthed, wimpy Neo-Cons that sometimes
comprise their ranks. Keep up the great work. I would love to come and visit
you! I can share my experience with any that might be interested. 603-770-8072.


Veritas Vincit,

Ted Maravelias
Class '91
Heather  - President, Cannabis Reform Coalition   |24.63.135.xxx |2009-02-25 19:06:41
So, I'm embracing the possibility that I might be one of those shiftless
liberals you see so often around the Student Union, although I do wear shoes
(but not often socks), so I might be mistaken. Thank you so much for recognizing
me as being but a small ray in your specter of influence, Mr. Deflumeri! And
you might just find an unlikely ally for your incendiary blowfish bumblespeech
in the Cannabis Reform Coalition--honestly, we're not so different, you and I!
We both like to start trouble and set off PC-police sirens in the midst of
one-sided mushmouthed political mumbling, we even take a stand firmly on the
wrong sides of the issue, just to get a reaction! I'd love to meet with you and
plan some future collaboration, maybe we can have a guest column--"the
greener side of the fence?" i mean, i can guarantee we have a sense of
humor, and that we have no urge to push anything down anybody's throat--just
into their ...
Unafraid to Proclaim   |71.192.101.xxx |2009-03-01 20:43:41
Dear hate speech writer (because thats what making fun of the LGBT acronym
is-hate speech)

Get your facts straight. If you make room in the world for
people to not have fear for who they are, than they wouldn't be afraid. YOU
create what you write about. You bash what YOU created. I find that just a
little silly and a waste of air out of your mouth. So what exactly are you
trying to achieve at that typewriter of yours? Hot air? You have achieved
that. Hate for queers? You have perhaps achieved that for youself. Fear and
hate in the queer community that will make us back away? HELL NO! The more you
write about us, the more we will fight back. And dont you worry, this queer
isnt going anywhere and we are stronger than you and your army mind ever will
be, so back up. We will ALWAYS win over you. Take a look at where you live.
You will not break the queers in this valley. Stop wasting EVERYONES time and
get a...
Ted Maravelias  - Being Anonymous   |75.67.235.xxx |2009-03-02 05:45:48
Hi again Brad. I say, keep up the great work at The Minuteman!! I love it how
liberals and homosexual activists will write letters to the editor or blog and
remain anonymous. That to me is cowardice. If you believe what you say
"unafraid to proclaim" (see prior message) then use your name. I always
have. While I am at it, my recommendation for this person is to the read the New
Testament before it is too late. Don't buy the lies Happy Valley is telling you.
Great job again Brad. Veritas Vincit.
Alex Watson  - Embrace those who live in the world we share.   |72.19.84.xxx |2009-04-06 16:22:02
Hey Brad,
Alex Watson here. I was going to write a long letter about all
the things that I personally find to be questionable
gramatically, morally, ethically etc... with The Minuteman but I would
have to re-write nearly the entire issue. I just dont have the time on my
hands. That being said, this is not meant as an angry response. I will
tell you, however, as a fellow human being that it is not any persons place
to tell any other person that who they are or what they do is
wrong. We all share this campus, this country and this planet.
Everywhere you look you see people that are unimagineably different than
yourself and it is a beautiful sight. Yet still, you seem to
think that you have the freedom to spread the word of hate. That is
simply all this is. You are not using The Minuteman as a forum for free speach, but as a forum for hate speach. Tha...
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Last Updated on Thursday, 19 February 2009 15:24