| Beacon 'Hell': Scandals Rock Mass' Dems in 2008 |
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| Written by Alana Goodman | |||||||||
| Sunday, 22 February 2009 01:02 | |||||||||
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Forget Blagojevitch, Edwards, Spitzer, and Kilpatrick. Some of 2008's most scandalous cases of sex, lies, and corruption happened right here in our own political backyard. From cash-stuffed bras, to sex acts with teenaged boys, the Minuteman dug through the worst of it to bring you the top 10 most ruthless, dirtiest, and straight-up shameless Massachusetts politicians of the past year. Boston Area Port Director Lorraine Henderson Many things in life are unclear, but one thing will always remain certain: If you're an American who has a soft spot for illegal aliens, you probably shouldn't be working as a U.S. border official. Apparently nobody explained this to Boston Area Port Director for Homeland Security Lorraine Henderson, whose job description entailed keeping illegal aliens out of Massachusetts, and who was busted last December for knowingly hiring not one-- not two-- but three illegal Brazilian nannies. We thank Allah that Henderson didn't hire any Saudi pilots to staff her private jet. Aide to Gov. Deval Patrick, Carl Stanley McGee Maybe Carl Stanley McGee would have been better off working for ex-Governor Jim McGreevy. A top official in Deval Patrick's administration, McGee was arrested last winter for sexually assaulting a 15-year old boy in a Florida resort steam room. Did we also mention that McGee is married to another man? Apparently monogamy just wasn't working for him. Chuck "The Schmuck" Turner: $1000 will buy a lot of Hungarian porn Who is wild-eyed and bearded, rants about government conspiracy theories, and asks for cash handouts? No, it's not some strung-out homeless guy in Northampton. It's Boston City Councilor Chuck Turner. The former "community activist" was recently caught on videotape accepting $1000 in bribes from the owner of Dejavu nightclub. Turner denies the allegations, claiming that photos of him pocketing the cash were doctored in an FBI conspiracy against him. We don't believe him. And apparently the feds aren't the only ones involved in the "plot" to take down Turner. At a recent press conference, the audacious councilor spent several minutes lashing out at the media after he was photographed with an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. In a stern, fist-pumping speech reminiscent of Reverend Jesse Jackson, Chuck indignantly huffed, "I was rushing…so fast…to get dressed…to avoid…more…harassment…by the press…that…apparently…from what they say…I didn't…zip up my pants." (Reports indicating that Senator Marzilli was holding Chuck's zipper are thus far unconfirmed). Hmm. I wonder why the press would have a vendetta against Turner? Could it have anything to do with the Hungarian porn he convinced the Boston Globe to publish in May of 2004 by claiming it was photographic evidence of "American war crimes"? State Rep. John Rogers State Rep. John Rogers's dreams of replacing disgraced former speaker Sal DiMasi were dashed after the state representative came under a cloud of scrutiny for his shady financial practices. Rogers was investigated last year for funneling campaign money to a friend, who in turn made mortgage payments on a house the two co-owned. Here at the Minuteman, we're a bit confused. Since when does a trifling campaign finance violation hinder one from becoming a Massachusetts house speaker? After Flaherty (tax evasion), Finnegan (obstruction of justice), and DiMasi (extortion), we thought an indictment was the pre-requisite for the position. Rep. Paul Kujawski So what if State Rep Paul Kujawski admitted to violating campaign finance laws-- for the second time in six years? So what if he's being investigated for extorting cash out of local businesses? If getting arrested for a DUI while driving his mom's car, dropping his pants on the side of a highway, and urinating on the boots of a state trooper couldn't get the guy kicked out of office, then nothing will. Sal F. DiMasi It's like an episode of the Sopranos, without the clever plot, lovable characters, and witty punch lines. Sal DiMasi, former Massachusetts speaker and ex-mob-bookie lawyer, resigned this year after his "associate," Richard Vitale, was pinched on charges of campaign finance and lobbying violations. Vitale, an unregistered lobbyist, was caught soliciting state politicians-- including DiMasi-- to push legislation for his ticket-broker clients. This was around the same time that the notoriously crooked Vitale, who also happened to be DiMasi's accountant, "coincidently" paid the disgraced former speaker's $250G mortgage. An ensuing state grand jury investigation put a hit on DiMasi's political career-- making him the third Massachusetts speaker in a row to abruptly leave office amid scandal. The ex-"Mistah Speakah" said in his January resignation speech that he would now be pursuing his "first professional love"-- law. If that doesn't work out for you Sal, may we suggest a career in "waste management?" After all, your name and phone number were found by the feds in mafia felon Vinny "the Animal" Ferrara's address book-- we highly doubt it was just because you were on his Christmas card list.
James Marzilli Most politicians like to stay in touch with their constituents. Unfortunately, sleazy state Senator James Marzilli may have taken this concept a little too far. Last June, the shifty-eyed Massachusetts lawmaker was caught groping and sexually assaulting four random women at a Lowell park. After he was confronted by several police officers, Marzilli led the cops on a foot chase to a nearby parking garage, where he bizarrely identified himself as "Martin Walsh"-- the name of a fellow state politician. Police soon realized who Marzilli really was-- and the public soon realized the lusty legislator's penchant for lame pickup lines: "The sex is sweet, the sex is sweet, you want it," Marzilli told one of his unwilling paramours, according to the Boston Herald. "Do you have any undergarments under that?" We can't completely blame Marzilli for his creepy indiscretions, though. You try waking up next to Susan Shaer every morning. State Rep. Bob Spellane This Worcester Democrat was nearly booted from his house seat after it was discovered that an employee of UniBank-- who was being paid as a consultant out of Spellane's campaign funds-- let the state rep skip a year's worth of payments on his $340,000 home loan. This is less than a year after Spellane was caught diverting $50,000 of his campaign money for personal use and blamed it on "bad bookkeeping." State Senator Dianne Wilkerson: Bust-ed! Over the years she's been charged with everything from tax fraud, to illegal use of campaign funds, to providing false testimony-- but it wasn't until last October that the FBI finally got the money shot. A surveillance camera caught state Senator Dianne Wilkerson stuffing cash bribes from the owner of Dejavu nightclub up her bra. Middlesex Register of Probate John Buonomo: At least he wasn't stuffing it in his bra. Last August, surveillance cameras caught Middlesex Register of Probate John Buonomo shoving thousands of dollars worth of change from the Registry of Deed's copy machines down his pants. Who can blame him? The poor guy only makes $110,000 a year. Astonishingly, even after being indicted by a grand jury and resigning his position in September, Buonomo still somehow managed to win re-election in the Democratic primary a week later.
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| Last Updated on Sunday, 22 February 2009 01:05 |